I have to admit, my main reason to volunteer was nothing altruistic initially. I had my own personal agenda - to learn more about schizophrenic patients and boost my resume when i apply for the clinical internship and the masters of clinical psychology program. Helping the patients was only the secondary reason, part of the one stone kills two birds thing. Hence, at first, all i wanted to do is to find out more about them. I will probe about their family, their background etc, hoping it will help me intergrate and apply what I 've learnt from school. I try to psycho them to think rationally and act appropriately, like what clinical psychologists do.
However, i dont do this anymore. (not like it helps anyway, most of them are too disorganized in their thoughts to hold a proper conversation)
After my 3rd session today, i realize my person interest is slowly disappearing, gradually being replaced by the true eagerness to help. I no longer treat them like patients. I treat them as my own friends. Instead of attempting to be like a psychologist, i am like a play buddy, a listener. I play games with them, talk to them and show my concern for them.
I never knew volunteering can be so fulfilling. The anticipation on their faces upon our arrival, their excitement to welcome us at the door, their overwhelming friendliness (they often greet us with huge grins on their faces and a warm handshake)...i dont know, it just gives me a very good feeling that i cant seem to describe.
Today, we celebrated hari raya with them. We sang songs with them, and brought refreshments like pandan cake and kueh lapis for them. I find myself smiling and feeling really touched to see them clapping along to our music. This sense of fulfilment upon seeing the joy on their faces is addictive. It just feels so good to know that i can bring a smile to their faces, and i look forward to seeing them each saturday.
Most of them are chronic patients and have stayed in the ward for many many years with hardly any visitors. It is important to know that even though they are not mentally sound, it doesnt mean that they are emotionally disabled too. They feel too, just like us. They need social contact and entertainment just like any of us. They really enjoyed the interesting activities and games which we prepared for them every week. And I know our presence and friendships are much appreciated by them. All these are shown all over their faces.
Through this experience, I discovered the meaning of volunteerism and something about myself that i never knew - im not as self-absorbed as i always thought i am. Indeed, I realized im actually capable of giving. That for the first time, it's NOT about me (contrary to what our dear Ms World, Ris Low, would say), it's about THEM. I sincerely want to be their friends and make a difference to their lives.
It's funny how my inital intent has brought me on a path that has totally transformed into something so different, i could say it's almost life-changing for me. I'm really glad i took the step to volunteer with IMHope, the experience has really changed my perceptions about myself, about schizophrenia, and about volunteering.
If you are interested, come join us at IMH every saturday, 230-530pm, and see for yourself how rewarding volunteering can be. No committments required, just come when you are free :)
And dont worry, contrary to popular beliefs, they are not dangerous or scary at all. Most of their conditions are controlled under medications and they are in fact, very friendly and nice people. Other than their disorganized/odd thoughts and behaviors, they are not that different from us!
Labels: psychology
posted by dreamz @ 7:19 PM
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