Frankly speaking, i know i would have enjoyed it more if not for Jiang. Not because of anything, but because he's the person i miss most dearly. I hardly miss my family anymore, i email them occasionally to keep them updated and i call my grandparents every fortnightly. This is enough to keep me from missing them. But despite chatting with Jiang on MSN every single day, i still miss him very much and cant wait to be back in his arms. Maybe it's because i spend more time with him than anyone else even back in Singapore, that's why it feels so different without him here. I feel weird that i cant sms him or call him as and when i want. I feel a lack of intimacy and companionship over here because the only person who can give this to me is him and he's not here :( and sometimes i just feel so lonely here i end up feeling depressed...how useless!
But seriously...i think long distance relationship doesnt quite work for us...it makes me too insecure... especially the asymmetric issues that we have...but there's nothing i can do about it since im so far away. So, im glad my exchange is only a relatively short 3 months and i really cant wait to be home soon! hopefully things will return to normal once im back and i can be happy with his company once again :)
That being said, i realize i do enjoy this independence sometimes (not the emotional independence that im forced to deal with though). The freedom to do whatever i want, whenever i want is exhilarating. Not that i ever felt constrained at home, my parents have given me lots of freedom which im really grateful for, but still sometimes some nagging is unavoidable and i certainly dont miss that at all.
I love the cool but not chiling weather here, i enjoy taking only half an hour to get to school (compared to an hour half to NUS), i take pleasure in the slackness and stress-free environment where i can still score well without pushing myself too hard, i like the pleasantness and friendliness of the people here, i am extremely entertained by the cable tv i have in my room ( Lost, 24, ABDC,George Lopez, Sex & the city, gray's anatomy, scrubs, family guy, HBO etc etc are all the shows that i watch here to pass time), and i delight myself with all the American consumer goods that i can only get through sprees in singapore (like A&F, Victoria Secrets, Bath & Body Works ...). I certainly will miss all these when im back to Singapore!
I realize i havent really blogged about the places of Santa Cruz. So, to conclude my stay here, for the remaining 2 weeks, i shall attempt to blog about the things here that i like and will miss :)
posted by dreamz @ 1:33 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home